Posts in Self-Awareness
10 Ways to Feel More Connected

I often hear from people that they have coworkers, friends, and even family members who they no longer feel the same level of connection with because of disagreements, differences of opinion, different worldviews, or conflict.

So, today, we’ll explore 10 simple ways to experience a deeper sense of connection and a deeper sense of peace, plus where to start looking for peace, joy, love, abundance, appreciation, and connection. (Hint: it’s one place you’ll always find them!)

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Is Your First Fact Flawed or False?

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve taken off in a direction based on a first fact that is flawed. Sometimes I find out quickly, but sometimes the roadblocks, barriers, and failures aren’t eager to reveal themselves, and so it takes a lot longer. Sometimes, I’ve invested a lot of time and energy before realizing that I was headed in the wrong direction from the start.

Listen in for stories with what this looks like, plus three simple tips that will point your efforts in the right direction.

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Let Go of the Rock, Revisited

When we clutch and cling to what we treasure, our tightly closed fist prevents us from accepting anything more, and it can also prevent our moving forward with ease and freedom.

Listen in (or read on) for a short, sweet story about a child who learned to open her fist, which, in turn, opened my eyes – and also a list of nine rocks that many of us hold onto.

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"Honey, You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet!"

In Tosha Silver’s book Outrageous Openness: Letting the Divine Take the Lead, she offers this idea: “When you say to the Universe, ‘Oh, this is terrible!’ the Universe responds with, ‘You ain’t seen nothing yet.’ But when you say to the Universe, ‘Oh, this is so wonderful!’ the Universe responds with, ‘You ain’t seen nothing yet!’”

I’d been literally walking around with anger and resentment, and this was a light bulb of insight that I needed for my own shift. Listen in or read on to catch the whole story.

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When Others Don’t See Their Own Potential

When you believe you’re seeing someone’s potential, what are you really seeing? Are you seeing them as they see themselves, or are you looking at their situation as if it were you? Is what you want for others what’s truly best for them, or is it simply a reflection of what you want for yourself?

Listen in or read on for real-life examples of how positioning yourself as the expert on someone else’s life can cause tension and conflict – at work and at home.

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Would You Like Joy and Abundance Right Now?

My life experience says joy and abundance aren’t in the achievement of perfected bliss but in the awareness that when life’s disappointments, confusion, hard choices, and grief-filled moments appear, I can come back to center.

Rather than try to fix, change, avoid, or fight it, I can be like the caterpillar – I can sink in, allow myself to be, take a deep rest, and trust that the way will again become clear.

Listen in for the lessons in caterpillar goop and human soup, along with the warm wisdom of horses.

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8 Ways to Be a Little More Badass

I’ve been listening to You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero because it was recommended by people I respect, although the title feels a bit slimy to me.

Well, her audiobook is fast-paced and funny with a smart, dry wit. While listening to Jen talk about how our words, energy, and beliefs inform what’s possible for us, I began seeing connections – both to myself and to many of the blocks my clients face.

Listen in or read on for more from the book, plus 8 lessons on badassery that I’m putting into practice.

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“Something Has Got to Change!”

Ten years ago, whenever I felt certain that something had to change, I was quite certain it was someone else who needed to change and not me. This was true in my friendships, my work relationships, and how I viewed the world. I held the expectation that everyone would be better off if they were more like me.

But now, through a lot of self-work and with more self-awareness, I know that whatever emotional energy comes up in me is simply there for me to continue to learn about myself. Listen in or read on for more…

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Your Future Self and the Sirens’ Song

Do you easily make commitments to behavioral changes, but you struggle with following through? The keys to fulfilling your commitments despite external and internal challenges are found in the ancient story of Ulysses and the Sirens’ deadly song.

He had himself tied to the mast of his ship and his crew’s ears plugged so they wouldn’t be tempted to their doom, but you can simply think about when and how you’ll need support, and then ask for it. Read on or listen in for more about this commonly missing piece…

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When a Canned Approach Just Won't Do

Ready-made seminars can be helpful, but there are times when a canned approach to leadership won’t get you where you want to go. It’s most effective to tweak the best practices to suit your work style instead of the other way around.

Listen in or read on for a case study on Results-driven Ron, who struggles to sit through meetings that continue in discussion long after he’s ready to take action. The steps he learned in an active listening seminar felt false and frustrating, but our customized strategy is a far better fit.

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Build a Roaring Fire of Confidence and Power

Are you ever afraid you’ll be found out? You know what I’m talking about – that moment when you stop in your tracks and think, “What if they find out I don’t know as much as they think I do? What if they find out I’m not really equipped for this job?”

Well, if your answer is Yes, you’re in good company because most of us suffer from Impostor Syndrome. The Impostor Syndrome’s voice most often rears its ugly head when we...

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Navigating the Holiday Effect

We are entering prime time, the big show, the period just before the Christmas holiday that extends into the new year – a time known for hustle and bustle and joy and, mixed in with it, our stressors, emotional triggers, anxiety, drama, and conflict. And as we’ve all experienced, sometimes it’s a little tough to tell which moment is going to contain which bevy of emotion.

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Are you a stuck old bird?

Here’s the truth: We can all go there, and we’ve all been there – stuck, with a stick up our birdy butt, blaming everyone, and waiting for justice.

But hopefully it is a temporary state, and when we recognize our condition, we take action to move ourselves out of it. Unfortunately, because of the work I do, I see many people who are unable to move, and these old birds are the ones who cause drama, tension, loss of time, and resistance toward organizational success.

So today, instead of focusing on others, we are going to find the stuck old bird within you – and if you know me at all, you are not surprised by this!

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Guess Why I’m Doing a Happy Dance!

Why am I doing a happy dance? Because I’ve decided to no longer minimize my joy. Do you ever minimize your joy about things that are in process but haven’t fully happened yet? Why do you hold back? Is it fear? Humility? Superstition? Habit? Something else?

Do you intentionally force opportunities for joy to smolder instead of allowing a rip-roaring flame of pure glee? Why not reward yourself with a happy dance for each and every action that gets you closer to what you want – whether a full-on hips-and-arms-moving dance (like my friend Tamara) or an internal feeling of sheer delight and pride (like me)?

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My Anger: Gradually and Then Suddenly

A few years ago, I had a big aha about anger. It didn’t happen all at once. Just like the Ernest Hemingway character Mike says about going bankrupt in The Sun Also Rises, my learning about anger came on “gradually and then suddenly.” The gradual awareness came through repeated feelings of shame, regret, and wishing I’d shown up differently. This awareness was fed through feedback from relationships, coworkers, family members, and my harshest critic – myself.

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Goodbye, Dear Keys!

I don’t remember if I’ve written about this incident before, and if I have, I apologize. Well, actually, I don’t, as today I was reminded again of its importance. A few years ago, I was driving back to my home – in Los Osos, California at that time – from Monterey. It is pretty much a 3-hour straight shot down the 101. For those of you who aren’t familiar with that stretch of highway, there isn’t much along it except agricultural fields and an occasional rest stop…

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A Possible Third Option

I recently had the opportunity to work with several people who are feeling very frustrated and stuck in jobs where they experience being disempowered, undervalued, frustrated and without a sense of purpose. They came in with the hope that the organization would change. Maybe their boss, the system, or that annoying coworker might change.

These people’s beliefs were that they’re stuck with only two options: stay and suffer, or leave and lose it all. Can you relate? Do you ever feel like that? Here’s some good news: I have a possible third option for you…

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Congratulations On Your Loss

A long-time friend of mine recently lost an incredibly tight race for an elected position she had held for a long time. Knowing her tenacity and intelligence, as well as her dedication and commitment to completing some long-term and somewhat controversial projects, I could only imagine her disappointment as the results came in.

And so I sent her a gently-worded message saying something to the effect of “Congratulations on your loss. Something new is coming.”

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