Feedback is such a misused and misunderstood tool that I actually wrote a book on the topic, Mastering Feedback – Everything You Were Never Told About How to Give Feedback. Instead of critical and positive feedback, I prefer the terms growth feedback and affirmative feedback. In a healthy work environment, both Growth Feedback and Affirmative Feedback are given often. I refer to this as normalizing feedback. Feedback is no longer a special occasion that is fraught with emotion and tension. Instead it is seen as a tool to help people grow and develop in their strengths, expertise, and contributions at work.

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We all walk around with so many stories in our head. These stories surround the facts of any situation like a warm, comfy blanket. The purpose of the stories is to help make facts that are uncomfortable more palatable. The NCD Process can save so much drama, conflict, and bad feelings.

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When a culture of feedback exists, team morale will not be shaken by feedback. In fact, individuals and the team as a whole, will expect feedback. They’ll view feedback as a tool to improve how they communicate and collaborate to make work more enjoyable, productive, innovative, and meaningful. I have 3 tools to help you get started with feedback.

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Sometimes the world needs us to be disruptors. Energy patterns are created by our behaviors and reactions. Sometimes just shifting the direction of negative energy can feel like a relief!  Here’s a quick story about what I mean.

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​I feel like I am always using my coaching skills. I use them as a parent. I use them with my grandchildren. I use them in every client engagement. I use them while facilitating strategic conversations, teaching about feedback, and helping people frame effective one-to-one meetings. Why? Because the ability to listen deeply, to learn from the perspective of others, and to witness people as they grow and develop is at the core of all meaningful and sustainable relationships. 

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Every once in a while do something that doesn’t quite seem like it fits with your big goals. For no other reason than to fill your heart. Sit at the staff lunch table and bask in the connection and fun of your staff. Find time in your schedule to volunteer at an event in your community. Find ways to spend time with people who are different from you. Sit and allow yourself to be welcomed and embraced. Be an observer. Be curious. Especially when it feels like you have no time to do so. Do it anyway! Your heart will…

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People who have what I call a perfectionist personality are people who believe so strongly that there is only one path to getting a task or job done correctly that they are hesitant to delegate or allow others to use their unique strengths and talents to handle it. As a manager or leader, an unrecognized perfectionist personality leads to not growing and developing your team. You may be seen as a micromanager. And because the people around you don’t have the opportunity to use their unique strengths, talents, and expertise, they often move onto opportunities where they can. 

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If a person you are managing continually shows up blaming others, shrugging their shoulders, tossing up their hands, or stating that they have no control over their lot in life, you are likely managing what I call a “Helpless Victim”. Sometimes these challenges can be totally justified. But if you recognize a pattern where it is always someone or something else’s fault, you may want to try a tool that I successfully use in my coaching: Circles of Control

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Teams are so busy focusing on the work that needs to be done and how to reach their outcome, that they don’t consider that conflict is natural when people with different strengths, perspectives, experiences, and work styles come together. When there are no norms for engaging in conflict in healthy ways, it can result in breakdowns in the collaboration, cohesiveness, and forward momentum of a project.

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The current state of what work looks like in our society was taking a toll on her mental and emotional health. She doesn’t blame the leaders of the organization, stating that they are as overwhelmed as anyone. In fact, the work pressures make it nearly impossible to identify what is at the crux of the incoming tide of demands and how to resolve it.

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