Gossip is an attempt to pacify or quiet a feeling of discomfort or vulnerability that rises up in me. My brain then adds all kinds of stories (fears, assumptions, judgments, expectations, values) to the data and makes the story bigger. Because what my brain is creating, I falsely believe sharing will bring me relief.

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There is a movement of previously highly ambitious, committed workers who are making the choice to stop going above and beyond. They are no longer stretching the work day into the evening, weekends, and paid time off. You must help them know that they are seen and heard, even if you don’t agree or aren’t able to fix what they are wanting to be different. Here are my quick and easy steps to begin.

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True and authentic communication is necessary. Without it, how do people come to truly know you? How does the reciprocity of trust develop in relationships? You must speak your truth. But how can you do that in a way that sets the stage for the best possible outcome? Simple. By turning the conversation around. Turning a conversation around involves these 4 elements.

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The NCD mantras serve as reminders to question the beliefs that may make you hesitant to initiate tough but necessary conversations. When asked which of the mantras most resonate, the majority of people pick The only person you can manage is yourself. Through hundreds of discussions, what I’ve found is that the people who pick this particular mantra are people who say, “I don’t like to make other people unhappy.” Sound familiar?

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Trust is such an integral part of the success of any organization, team or group. Yet, we rarely ever take a deep dive look into what trust really is and the many ways trust either does or does not show up in our relationships. The following is an excerpt from my newest book, Turn This Conversation Around.

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A recent participant in NCD Essentials was reflecting on what the NCD Process taught her. I was so inspired by the insights she had after just two sessions of NCD Essentials, that I am altering my definition of gossip.

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A client request got me thinking about the gap that exists when we use phrases like “managing up” and what happens when we assume that others understand exactly what that means to us. If you are a leader who keeps using the term “manage up” as a directive to your staff and yet you aren’t getting the results you want, the problem is likely not in your employee’s performance but in how you are making that ask. I’ve written up a 4-step process you can follow to develop a managing-up relationship, and I’m sharing it with you.

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Now more than ever, the world needs a pathway to connection through dialogue. A survey done in 2021 showed that close to 84 million Americans have parted ways with one or more significant people in their lives due to conflicts over values and political differences. For some it is the neighbor who helps you out from time to time. For others it is the coworker with whom you bantered at the water cooler. And for others it might be the aunt or uncle who you’ve known since childhood and saw every holiday. Many of us are grieving these losses.

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Do you ever walk away from a conversation wondering, “What happened? Why did I behave like that?”​ If you are human, it is likely you have been surprised by your own behavior. Maybe you lashed out at someone, or blamed them harshly, or even got mad and stormed off. It happens to all of us from time to time, when we react based on what I refer to as an emotional hotspot.

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It has become disturbingly normal to dismiss and disconnect from people with whom we don’t agree. While this choice may feel comfortable in the short-term, it erodes our ability to thrive and survive as individuals and collectively. This will have a long-term negative impact on our society. ​

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