I was asked how to begin introducing the idea of giving and receiving feedback to a small team who hadn’t been doing this previously. Their purpose is to create an environment in which feedback with peers is the norm. This question leads me to a broader discussion on how do you introduce any new behavioral norm into an existing culture. I’ll use feedback in this example, but this process can apply to any norm you want to establish.

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No matter how much we want to tell ourselves otherwise, there are just some people who aren’t likable. However, we are often in a position as a manager, teammate, or family member, or at a social gathering, where we must still engage whether we like them or not. And even more importantly, as a manager or leader your dislike has to stay out of the equation. You must be neutral, that’s your job. But this is so much easier said than done.

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Here are a few simple rules that can be used to create a positive workplace culture. It’s quite easy to do this when we are clear on the rules, communicate the rules, and then model how they are applied.

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I had a great call with a colleague where she introduced me to an idea that I understand, but didn’t have the words for – Essentialism. The term has been coined, in this context​, by Greg McKeown. Paraphrased, he defines Essentialism as identifying your point of highest contribution to the world and then focusing your available time, energy, and resources in that direction. The tricky part of essentialism is that it also means letting go of, or saying no to, things that aren’t where your highest contribution to the world is.

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I’m not sure if it is human nature or not, but I admit, from the moment I arrived, I had been looking around and noticing all the differences between myself and others. Then I was reminded about what we all share in common, and it took me out of my comparison lens and dropped me into the commonality view.

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Often we believe that our communication is clear of emotion. But communication can be tricky. Even if you believe your words are emotionless, they may be experiencing an emotional charge based on the words you choose and the energy you project. And they may assume the emotion they are attaching to your words is exactly what you meant to convey. This is how each of us can leave a conversation with an entirely different belief of what happened. We may hear the same words, but we may feel different emotions.

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We are in challenging times and most of us, from what I’ve heard, aren’t wanting to do more, even though we feel like we should. Everyone I’ve spoken to lately shares the same sentiment. Without question, the greatest journey that I have taken is a simple, free practice that gives me more time and vitality than anything else I’ve done. And it doesn’t cost a cent.

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Do you find that learning about your unique strengths, motivations, habits of attention, and other patterns of thoughts is more intriguing than ever before? You’re not alone. In fact, it is actually the study of self, the investigation of what makes me tick, that helps build relationships that matter. Until you know yourself, you can’t know anyone else.

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