Advice for transforming leadership, culture, Curiosity, and communication from Beth Wonson
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When I’m facilitating strategic planning sessions, I frequently experience the same level of irritation. When I’m coaching or working with someone whose first language is not English, I strive to be aware of the phrases I’m using. And no matter who the audience is, I want to be very aware of phrases that have negative origins or may be triggering.Here are just some of my pet peeves (a phrase originating in 1919) and why they just don’t fit in business (or any) communication where you strive to inspire, motivate, build community, connection, and clarity (and avoid litigation)…
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Hot Button Issues – Fascinating!
I was recently listening to someone share a hot button issue for them, a specific customer scenario that really got under her skin. As she described it, the tension in the room escalated. This person became so animated when describing the past situation that she became red faced with frustration. And because emotions spread like viruses, others in the room started getting tense.Why do some situations get to us on such an emotional level that even describing the situation days, months, or even years later takes us right back to the same negative vibe, while other situations don’t?
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Finding the Guru Within
About 3 years ago I thought I found my business guru, the person who was going to help me turn all my gifts and talents into the “6 figure business” I desired, while only working a few hours a day. She had a system. All I had to do was believe in myself enough to pay her money and follow her advice. If I believed and followed well enough, I too could have a beach house, a Tesla, and all the vacation time I wanted. I had a feeling in my stomach that wanted me to turn back, but I…
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What I’m Into
A question that I’m frequently asked is “How do you learn all this stuff?” That’s an easy answer. I read constantly. So today I’m going to share with you the just some of the authors that are stacked up on my desk, my bedside table, and in my computer bag; I’m going to let you in on “what I’m into” right now! Social Intelligence, The Revolutionary New Science of Human Relationships by Daniel Goleman. The first time I heard Daniel Goleman was on an NPR interview. I felt like everything I suspected was true about humans—how we interact, what motivates…
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Creating New Pathways Through Disappointment
I was invited by a client to walk with her as she processed feelings of great disappointment. Through out our conversation she was able to turn this experience around from “I was a fool to get excited” to “This experience helps me better understand where I want to go next with my work. I am grateful.” But the bigger and even more valuable lesson was that she gets to choose the pathway she walks when things turn out differently than she hoped.
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Lay Down The “Should” Shovel
Life. There is so much that we could be doing. My friend, mentor, and co-author Dr. Mary Kay Stenger says that we are human beings, but we turn ourselves into human doings. And much of the doing is driven by the “shoulds” we shovel onto ourselves and accept from others. Most of my work centers around people and workgroups who seek to achieve more, increase happiness and joy, create better solutions, and improve communication, motivation, and decision making. And I hear all the times people do the exact opposite simply by shoveling shoulds onto themselves and others. I see all the…
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Is Your Team Held Together With Crazy Glue?
For nearly 13 years I had a job that I could not leave. The work was satisfying. I was recognized for my effort. But the pay wasn’t great. In fact, the organization was struggling, and in the last half-dozen or so years of my employment there, my salary decreased each year. Every employee would work harder than the year before as we’d try to keep the doors open, and each year we’d receive word that we’d have to take a furlough week or two—essentially an unpaid vacation. The promised retirement account sat unfunded. Emails would circulate at year-end stating how…
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I’ve Had A Realization
I’ve had a realization, a palm to forehead kind of thing. I’ve been referring to myself as a coach for so stinking long that I actually believe it. But when I stop and look at the facts (the clients I work with and the work I do with them), I realize that I’m actually a business consultant. I think I’ve avoided owning it because, well, being a business consultant sounds like I should “know it all” and I don’t. The realization came from important but unrelated occurrences, all within the same 2-3 day span: In talking with a coach I…
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Am I Being Perfectly Clear?
Am I being perfectly clear?The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. ~George Bernard Shaw My daughter was about four years old and playing outside with a friend. They were into a little mischief in an area of the yard that was off limits. In my stern mother voice I clarified the rules again and then asked, “Am I perfectly clear?” I am not even sure where I picked up that expression but I seem to have used it a great deal in my mothering. Neither girl spoke. Both looked up at me, frozen, with eyes…
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Joy at Work – Creating Your Own Culture
I had coffee with an acquaintance who also is a therapist. She was sharing how she sees more and more clients who are stuck in their work and how their inability to leave causes them to go into survival mode, resentfully counting the days until retirement. This stress of feeling stuck professionally wreaks havoc in many other areas of their lives, including physical and emotional well being and the ability to foster and maintain fulfilling relationships. Living in survival mode causes them to come up with strategies to cope, many of which may be considered passive aggressive or manipulative. She…
Leveling up Leadership and Culture Through Healthy and Candid Communication
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