The Hidden Cost of Saying Nothing: How Feedback Avoidance Is Hurting Your Organization

Every leader I work with—from Fortune 500 executives to nonprofit board chairs—shares the same confession: "I knew I needed to say something, but I kept putting it off."

The result? A minor performance issue becomes a full-blown personnel crisis. A talented team member quietly disengages. What could have been a five-minute conversation becomes a six-month nightmare. Often leading to termination when early feedback could have made a difference.

The feedback trap is universal. 

Whether you're managing a corporate team or leading a nonprofit through transition, the reasons for avoidance are strikingly similar: "I didn't want to upset them." "I wasn't sure how they'd react." "Maybe it will just fix itself." “Everyone is too stressed and tired for feedback.”

Here's the truth: it won't fix itself. That employee who shows up late isn't suddenly going to start arriving on time without your input. The board member who dominates every meeting won't magically develop self-awareness. The volunteer coordinator spreading herself too thin won't realize it unless someone helps her see it.

What makes feedback avoidance so costly?

First, there's the tangible damage—missed deadlines, decreased quality, team dysfunction, and eventually, turnover. But the deeper cost is cultural. When you consistently avoid giving feedback, people get the message that accountability is optional. High performers watch and wonder why excellence doesn't matter. Over time, your best people leave while mediocrity stays comfortable.

The irony? Most people actually want feedback. In my work across sectors, I've found that employees and volunteers alike feel more valued when leaders care enough to help them grow. What they don't want is surprise feedback during a performance review about issues from six months ago that they could have fixed immediately. Or worse, being terminated for something they didn’t realize wasn’t okay.

The shift starts with you. 

Effective feedback isn't about being harsh or creating confrontation—it's about growing and empowering employees. When you describe what you observed, explain the impact, and together, co-create the next steps together, feedback becomes a tool for empowerment rather than punishment.

Think about the conversation you've been avoiding. The one that's been nagging at you for weeks or months. What's it costing your organization to stay silent? More importantly, what could change if you finally had it?

Ready to stop avoiding feedback? Order my book, “Everything You Were Never Told About Feedback”. It is an easy read and will change how you approach (or resist) feedback forever. Because your team—and your mission—deserve leaders who speak up.