Today’s piece is dedicated to a wonderful, generous woman who shared her story with me and said, “Your ability to see ‘the possible’ is inspiring. I’m impishly imagining a blog from you titled, “From Inside the Soup“. We were talking about our lives and she shared a story which I will somewhat alter for the sake of confidentiality. My friend was telling me the story of how her grown child had chosen to step back from a promising career in which they exuded natural talent. This young person had been given many opportunities to develop and share their talent far…

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There are many theories and studies that support that we have a natural tendency to avoid, push away from, or fear people who are different from us. Our inherent fight or flight responses trigger us to turn away from, or defend against, people who are different until we understand that they are safe. Researchers claim that xenophobic tendencies (fear of people from other countries) are hardwired into our brains and cause our judgments to drive emotional decisions. Tribalism, the theory of cultural conformity and loyalty, keeps us from wandering off and joining other groups that may differ culturally, socially, economically,…

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Your boss comes to you and says, “We need you to learn the new scheduling system so you can provide backup when the primary scheduler is out”. What is your immediate response? Based on what I hear from employers, 90% of the time the response is, “Will I get a pay increase?” Or worse, the employer asks me if when giving an employee the opportunity to learn a new skill or take on a new responsibility, “Do you think I have to increase their pay?” My answer is, “Not before they learn, practice and achieve a level of proficiency with the skill. This is…

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How many times have you wondered if your most valued team members are considering jumping ship? The Truth No one (including you) is irreplaceable. So don’t let that thought keep you awake at night. There’s no way you can guarantee that your employees will stay with you forever. Here are some easy things you can do to improve the retention rate of staff, and minimize the impact of staff loss. #1 Everyone Wants to Be Seen and Heard The view from the top is narrower than most leaders realize. Your staff actually has the best vantage point, or at least a…

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I always knew it was a good idea to mind my business. Mostly because I could see the drama and unnecessary antics that are caused when I don’t. However, especially now as my daughter transitions into motherhood, I am experiencing how staying in my own business is one of the best things I’ve ever learned and put into practice. The evidence shows that if I avoid the temptation to trot out my expertness by telling my daughter “what is best” our connection is significantly deeper. I also get the benefit of really hearing about her learning and growth experience –…

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There is a street in my neighborhood that is lined with gigantic eucalyptus trees and this is my favorite time of year on that street. Right now the monarch butterflies are as thick as pea soup, hanging out in the eucalyptus grove. You can barely walk down the road without out bumping into one or two as they flitter through the air. I love the monarchs because for me they serve as a reminder of the power of trust. Not trust in another, but trust in my inner knowing and myself. Trust in my unique journey. And trust in the…

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I overheard a woman talking about her journey from the airport to a remote location in Northern New Mexico. She said that her niece had given her exact details and descriptions for each turn over the phone such as, “At the adobe church, turn right” and “At the market/post office, continue for 3 miles”. “I got lost”, she says. “I pictured in my mind what she was saying. But when the markers (the church or the market/post office) appeared in actuality, they weren’t how I pictured them, so I ignored them and continued to look for what matched my vision.”…

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Many of us have risen to a place of great responsibility or leadership because we are perfectionists and control freaks. Then one day we wake up and realize that we can’t carry it all alone any longer and our To Do List has surpassed our bandwidth. At some point a coach, supervisor, friend or staff person says, “You’ve got to start delegating”. We know they are right so we find a task and hand it off. Initially we are barraged with questions, clarifications and sometimes missed deadlines. Suddenly our delegated task becomes a bigger burden and now at the 11th hour we…

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My daughter Annie recently returned to work as a dental hygienist. It is a job she enjoys, in an office she loves, with patients she cares about. What is different now is Annie is a working mom. Her sweet son, my grandson, is six weeks old. She returned to work with her heart and her mind in two places. I used to believe (even though I was a working mom myself for many years) that there was “work” and “home” and that the two should stay separate. And I still hear employers trotting out that unrealistic edict. After years as…

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