When The Problem Just Won’t Budge

You know that nagging challenge? The one problem that never gets resolved? The thing that most holds you back? The goal that seems to get further and further away? The pesky roadblock that you keep coming up against over and over again?

What if it’s not the challenge that is the problem, but instead how you see and engage with it?

I know for me, I keep running into many of the same challenges again and again. And yet, when I try to come at the challenge harder, faster, stronger, or with more "get it done" energy—the problem doesn't budge. In fact sometimes, it gets more resolute.

It turns out, not every problem or roadblock we face is suited for "overcoming."

Some challenges are better suited for making peace with. Sometimes we can examine it from all sides until we see the problem in a different light. Sometimes we’re finding a new way to work within the challenge, make the challenge an ally, and move through it instead of over it.

Many of us have been conditioned to think it’s best to try and bust through every hurdle and bulldoze every challenge.

I spent time today working with Lindsay Pera. She has long been a guide, mentor, and teacher for me. I came to know Lindsay over 10 years ago when I was working with the board of a small private school and she was a parent and board member. We became connected and have engaged in a multitude of ways since.

My session with Lindsay today helped me revisit why I'm here on this earth at this particular time. And to reconnect with my belief—which admittedly sounds trite—that my main reason for being here is to connect to and generate love.

Everything I do, believe, feel, and act on is because I know this world will be a better place if we simply run on a foundation of love. And, secondarily, to observe, translate, and facilitate breaking through assumptions and perceptions so each person can live in their unique power.

I was glad to talk to Lindsay today because I was feeling a bit disconnected, discouraged with the world.

I’ve been wondering, “How do I show up in a world that seems to have lost it way? What is the path forward for me in this time?”

In these times of unknowing, uncertainty, and vulnerability, it is easy to question, "What is the path forward for me?"

Lindsay, who leans into intuition and divine guidance when she is doing a session, sensed (rightly so) that I’ve lost touch with my core routines. And this is causing me to feel untethered from who I am authentically.

What are core routines?

Core routines are the things I do daily that make me more “me”. Core routines are the activities that serve to ground me and help me make sense of the world around me and who I am in it.

The foundations of my core routines are observing, understanding, and translating the world. My inspiration and insights come through creating art, writing, and speaking. Lindsay encouraged me to start considering things not as ROI (return on investment) but ROE (return on energy).

To stop choosing how I spend my time using the metric of whether or not compensation is generated. Instead, I need to start with love, stay grounded in my core routines, feed my energy, and improve my health and wellness. Then, the return on energetic output will carry me through.

This is not new to me. However, between the pandemic and now the world (waves hands wildly in air) we all now live in, I have started holding on tighter to ROI. I’ve stopped noticing, "Does this action I’m taking matter to my heart?"

I know there are a lot of places to poke holes in this message.

Like, “but will it feed me and pay the mortgage?” as an example. But I also know that when I tend to my core routines, I will also have the focus, energy, and insight to take aligned action on what most matters. And to notice and receive when the return on energy comes my way.

I know this is a bit different than my usual weekly email.

I also know that, like me, you may have needed a message that is a bit bigger than solving an immediate symptom of a problem.

Hang in there, my friends. This journey we are currently on is not a short one. No one is getting through this without being impacted, dragged down, exhausted, and a little afraid. The world is uncertain for all of us, regardless of affiliation or belief system.

So please, take some time and think about your core routines.

What are the kinds of things you love to escape to? What activity or moment or sight fills your heart and soul instantly? Think back to being a child when you could disappear into play easily. Or, for a short cut, ask yourself the question Lindsay asked me that really got me thinking: "If money were no object, what would you specifically add to your life and what would you take away?"

I found my answer to be quite simple and easier than I realized to put into action:

• More speaking to large groups.

• More helping people see that really tough, nagging, hurdles and roadblocks can be seen in new ways.

• Write, draw, and create much more.

• Love my family, my friends, my clients, and even those I don’t yet know.

• Receive love and help myself, without resistance or my judgement that it makes me less capable and strong.

These all led me to reclaiming my core routines of drawing, writing, observing nature, and being with people who I love and who inspire me. These activities will all lead me to more peacefully and energetically spread the work of Navigating Challenging Dialogue® to large groups of people. And to continue serving the agencies, companies, and clients who are called to work with me.

Spend time with this question.

“If money were no object, what would you add to your life and what would you take away?”

Answering this will help you to get you closer to discerning what those core routines are for you. The activities that light you up, help you see magic and beauty, and inspire playfulness within you. The activities where the return on the energy can be significantly felt. And then identify what small actions you can take to make sure you are bringing those core routines to your day, each morning and each evening.

If you are feeling a bit adrift, disconnected or seeking more peace in a less-than peaceful time, let’s talk. I can help you get started on identifying your unique yet powerful key core routines that will both ground you and move you forward.