The NCD mantras serve as reminders to question the beliefs that may make you hesitant to initiate tough but necessary conversations. When asked which of the mantras most resonate, the majority of people pick The only person you can manage is yourself. Through hundreds of discussions, what I’ve found is that the people who pick this particular mantra are people who say, “I don’t like to make other people unhappy.” Sound familiar?

Trust is such an integral part of the success of any organization, team or group. Yet, we rarely ever take a deep dive look into what trust really is and the many ways trust either does or does not show up in our relationships. The following is an excerpt from my newest book, Turn This Conversation Around.

A recent participant in NCD Essentials was reflecting on what the NCD Process taught her. I was so inspired by the insights she had after just two sessions of NCD Essentials, that I am altering my definition of gossip.

A client request got me thinking about the gap that exists when we use phrases like “managing up” and what happens when we assume that others understand exactly what that means to us. If you are a leader who keeps using the term “manage up” as a directive to your staff and yet you aren’t getting the results you want, the problem is likely not in your employee’s performance but in how you are making that ask. I’ve written up a 4-step process you can follow to develop a managing-up relationship, and I'm sharing it with you.

Now more than ever, the world needs a pathway to connection through dialogue. A survey done in 2021 showed that close to 84 million Americans have parted ways with one or more significant people in their lives due to conflicts over values and political differences. For some it is the neighbor who helps you out from time to time. For others it is the coworker with whom you bantered at the water cooler. And for others it might be the aunt or uncle who you’ve known since childhood and saw every holiday. Many of us are grieving these losses.

Do you ever walk away from a conversation wondering, “What happened? Why did I behave like that?”​ If you are human, it is likely you have been surprised by your own behavior. Maybe you lashed out at someone, or blamed them harshly, or even got mad and stormed off. It happens to all of us from time to time, when we react based on what I refer to as an emotional hotspot.

It has become disturbingly normal to dismiss and disconnect from people with whom we don’t agree. While this choice may feel comfortable in the short-term, it erodes our ability to thrive and survive as individuals and collectively. This will have a long-term negative impact on our society. ​

I was a teacher-in-training in a high school English class. It wasn’t just any class but a class for students with emotional and behavioral challenges which prevented them from success in mainstream classes. I watched as all the previously raised hands were lowered and students tried to become invisible. She became exasperated and proceeded to tell them her perspective. Previously curious eyes now glazed over.

Whatever you're thinking about is literally like planning a future event. When you're worrying, you are planning. When you are appreciating, you are planning. What are you planning?

Sleep is not a character trait. It is something we are born with the ability to do. Not because it is a luxury or a reward. Sleep is as vital as drinking water, eating, or even breathing. It is when your mind and body do their work to repair, nourish, and grow. Stop thinking about it and just sleep.

Between companies trying to lure employees back to the office and the current difficulty in recruiting and retaining employees, the rising cost of gasoline is not helping out. Many of my clients are trying to find creative ways to help employees reduce the financial burden of commuting to the office as the price of gas continues to go up.

Putting myself out there for feedback is uncomfortable, but the more you do it, the more comfortable it becomes. And now here I am again feeling a little uncomfortable. But this time, I didn’t wait for my team to push me, I initiated getting the feedback.

Workplace culture is made up of how employees treat each other in terms of willingness to be honest and kind in communication, willingness to hold themself and each other accountable, the behavioral norms we agree to, and the ability to have healthy conflict.

"Lorinda" came to talk to me about a problem she was having with her boss. Just in the retelling of the story, she experienced the activation of an emotional hotspot. I gently asked open ended questions to help sort out the facts from assumptions, fears, projections, and emotions. There were a few times when her body language conveyed what I interpreted as frustration and anger.

​How communication has evolved over the past several decades is creating a dangerous trajectory for our human existence. Working against us is our brain's innate desire to protect us from what it perceives as threats to our beliefs, values, and sense of self. This instinct protected us back in the days when the saber tooth tiger was trying to eat our babies. In today’s world, the majority of these threats are psychological not physical.

This week I’m talking to all of you out there who just want to make everyone happy. You know who you are. You are the person who says to me, “No. I didn’t give her feedback on that. I just don’t want to upset her. I don’t like making people unhappy.” You are one who tells me that you are doing everything you can to please grumpy coworkers and you are sick and tired of trying.

If the pandemic did nothing else it highlighted leadership strengths and weaknesses across all industries. One of the most critical leadership qualities, empathy, was arguably the leadership quality that sunk or elevated those in leadership positions. The evidence is clear that business and school leaders lacking this skill are struggling to retain their best employees. Why?

No matter what your role is in your organization, you can become someone who models reflective thinking, and help people get more comfortable with giving and receiving feedback. Here is one simple way that you can be the role model for reflective thinking.

Your lens on the world is made up of your values, how you’ve been socialized and educated, your experiences, your culture and heritage, and even your communication style. All of which is informed by your biases.

Have you noticed that you are receiving more and more work-related communications outside of working hours? As work-from-home situations have increased, so too have texts, phone calls, and emails during non-work hours. The boundaries that define work time and non-work time are becoming more cloudy. A combination of factors is causing work hours to spill into personal time.