People who have what I call a perfectionist personality are people who believe so strongly that there is only one path to getting a task or job done correctly that they are hesitant to delegate or allow others to use their unique strengths and talents to handle it. As a manager or leader, an unrecognized perfectionist personality leads to not growing and developing your team. You may be seen as a micromanager. And because the people around you don’t have the opportunity to use their unique strengths, talents, and expertise, they often move onto opportunities where they can. 

If a person you are managing continually shows up blaming others, shrugging their shoulders, tossing up their hands, or stating that they have no control over their lot in life, you are likely managing what I call a "Helpless Victim". Sometimes these challenges can be totally justified. But if you recognize a pattern where it is always someone or something else’s fault, you may want to try a tool that I successfully use in my coaching: Circles of Control

Teams are so busy focusing on the work that needs to be done and how to reach their outcome, that they don’t consider that conflict is natural when people with different strengths, perspectives, experiences, and work styles come together. When there are no norms for engaging in conflict in healthy ways, it can result in breakdowns in the collaboration, cohesiveness, and forward momentum of a project.

The current state of what work looks like in our society was taking a toll on her mental and emotional health. She doesn’t blame the leaders of the organization, stating that they are as overwhelmed as anyone. In fact, the work pressures make it nearly impossible to identify what is at the crux of the incoming tide of demands and how to resolve it.

​Coaching is my passion. But teaching leaders and managers to use the tools of Navigating Challenging Dialogue and the NCD Approach to Coaching really brings me so much joy!  A past participant in my Coaching in the Workplace workshop emailed me to let me know how a conversation they were dreading turned out. They gave me permission to share with all of you.

When you build a coaching culture where peers, leaders, and supervisors are engaged with curiosity and listen deeply to each other, they begin to find common ground and develop empathy. Cross-departmental teams who previously fought over resources or power now begin to see how they are all connected and working toward the same goals. Mentorship is specifically for individuals who are coaching now or adding coaching into their leadership toolbox. 

In today’s fast-paced work culture, it feels like there are more demands and priorities than can be completed in an average workday. Because of the overwhelm, many of us tend to show up to meetings already braced to “say no” to new assignments that come up.  Saying “no” sometimes is absolutely important and not always possible. But if you are consistently bracing for the “no” before you hear or consider the full request, you are risking your reputation as a team player. And nobody wants that.  So how do you balance protecting yourself and your team from taking on too much while still being seen as a team player?

Unproductive speculation is what we name as “future tripping” in Navigating Challenging Dialogue®. It’s worrying about what might happen in the future while missing what is happening right now – like sleep. When you’re engaged in future tripping, your brain is spinning stories that seem to be an attempt to help you problem-solve something that hasn’t even happened yet. It is a strategy your ego employs to try and protect you. But when your mind conjures up these stories that focus on negative outcomes, it triggers even more anxiety.

Here’s a situation many of my clients face:

“How can I deal with someone who hints instead of directly sharing information with me? I often feel blindsided when a project goes off track. And when I finally discover that things have gone wrong, one of my staff people says, ‘I tried to tell you last week.’ When I ask them when, what they share with me was not direct communication, but instead a hint I did not pick up on.”

The only solution here is to give direct, fact-based, clear feedback.  

When I am asked to help with positive culture building, I am often called in by leadership who wants to point fingers at their employees' behaviors and attitudes as what needs to change. Often, when it comes time for coaching, training, and consulting, the executives want me to focus on staff. They say that they are too busy. Or they agree to participate, but when the time comes, they are distracted, running in and out, or looking at their phone. All these behaviors convey messages to employees that are stronger and longer lasting than sentiments about teamwork and how much employees are valued. 

The swift river that is work and the emotions associated with work continues to flow while you are gone. In order to successfully jump in, you must be well nourished, well rested, and well organized. Otherwise you can end up flailing, being swept away and barely able to keep your head above water, just like my client.

One of the best ways to increase employee engagement is with 1:1 Check-ins. However, 1:1 Check-ins are one of the most dreaded and least thought about tools in the engagement toolbox. Let's talk about making check-ins more effective, efficient, and valuable.

When hearing empathy discussed, it is mostly in terms of meeting someone where they are at when they are experiencing distress. But I find positive empathy even more intriguing because of the benefits to both parties. Researchers suggest that people who practice positive empathy build stronger bonds with those around them and are more open to engaging and connecting in positive ways.

If you and those around you aren’t clear on where you’re going, how can you possibly get there? Follow my top tips to help you make your 2023 goal setting easier, and clear enough so you can take action. These strategies work for both individual goals and for organizational goals. 

When you are intentional about learning tools and strategies to become predictable, it’s a gift to those around you and yourself. There’s no more drama and chaos, and less shame and guilt, that unhealthy predictability can create. And you are showing those around you another pathway to deal with life and work pressures.

Management tools and worker engagement strategies that have been used in the past are just no longer effective. Yet most of my clients continue to try and deploy them. Change is hard, I get that. Still, change is critical. My forward-thinking client recognizes this for the crisis that it is.

The NCD mantras are the principles of Navigating Challenging Dialogue®. Each mantra is a simple saying that acts as a reminder to let the NCD Process guide you. The more you practice the mantras, the more they will be integrated into how you show up as a communicator who listens, is empathetic, and holds space for others to be fully seen and heard.

I was having a conversation recently with a leader of a large institution who was wondering what changes must be made to lead and develop people who are newly entering the workforce. Do younger generations who are potential or emerging leaders need more consistent and direct feedback than ever before? Or have we all always needed more consistent and direct feedback, but it wasn’t a part of what leadership considered important?