The Conversation I've Been Avoiding (And Why You Might Be Too)

We all have those looming conversations we’d rather avoid.

You know the ones. Maybe it is with your teen who you know will have a melt down when you reinforce a boundary.

Or the in-law with good intentions but they keep pushing their beliefs on your child. Beliefs you don’t align with.

Or the cranky neighbor whose hedge is starting to damage your fence.

Or the spouse or partner with whom you are avoiding having a serious talk about money.

Every single day we have hundreds of conversations that just happen successfully without much forethought. But then there are that handful of must-have conversations that we put off, to spare someone’s feelings or to spare our own, but left to fester, compound daily into more problems.

Yeah, I’m talking about those ones.

We avoid them because we are terrified of what might happen if we actually say what needs to be said.

The conversations we avoid don't just go away. They just get harder. The resentment builds. The relationship deteriorates. And eventually, we're dealing with something way bigger than the original issue.

I know this because I used to be the person who avoided having difficult conversations. I’d hint. I’d cajole. I’d try and manipulate outcomes I desired. I become passive aggressive or pout to try and get things to go my way. And who wants to deal with that?

Some people avoided me. Some people wondered why I was so short tempered with them. And it was all because I had feedback to give, boundaries I wanted to set, or behavior changes that needed to be made, but I wasn’t honest and kind in my communication. Because I was afraid.

I began to realize the problem wasn't them—it was me. And more specifically, it was my fear. Fear of being rejected. Fear of being criticized. Fear of not being liked. Just for asking for what I needed in relationship.

Dang, that is a lot of unnecessary fear to carry around all day.

What saved me was when I developed the Navigating Challenging Dialogue® Process (NCD).

I didn’t develop NCD with the idea of helping others. I developed it because I needed it for myself.

I needed a way to get clear and emotionally clean in my own thoughts. I needed to be able to remove the fears, assumptions, expectations, and biases that held me back from speaking my truth with empathy and kindness.

Since creating NCD back in 2010, I have actually had less stress and drama in my life. I have learned how become curious, to listen deeply, and as a result, I’ve developed trust and built connections that will last a lifetime. All because now I practice the simple 4-step NCD Process.

By practicing NCD myself and teaching it to thousands of others, I discovered how to navigate these conversations differently.

Not by becoming fearless and blunt, but by understanding what's happening in my body and my brain when I don't practice NCD. My thoughts and emotions led me instead of the facts.

That's exactly what my online, go-at-your own pace workshop Tackling Difficult Conversations with Confidence course will teach you. I will be walking with you each step of the way as I read your assignments (no AI agents here), provide helpful feedback, and answer your questions. And, for those who want extra one-to-one support from me, there is an upgrade that comes with two coaching sessions!

This isn't theory. It's practical, science-backed tools you can use immediately—whether you're a a parent dealing with a rebellious teen, trying to preserve relationships that matter while still saying hard things, or leading a team at work.

I hope you will join in. I look forward to seeing you in the classroom! Sign up here!