The Leadership Moment That Changes Everything

I'll never forget the day my star employee walked into my office and resigned without notice. I was blindsided and panicked. I hadn’t seen it coming at all. 

Sarah (not her real name) was always engaged, great with clients, hit her targets, and participated in team meetings. I thought everything was fine. But as she sat across from me, explaining why she was leaving, I realized I had missed every signal.

"I've been trying to get your attention for a month to tell you about the workload issues," she said. "But every time we talked, it felt like you were too busy to really hear me. I just can’t do this anymore.” That moment changed everything for me as a leader.

The invisible cost of communication breakdowns

Here's what I didn't understand then: Most leadership failures aren't about strategy, budgets, or accountability. They're about the small communication moments that either build trust or erode it.And clearly I’d been eroding trust with Sarah. It broke my leadership heart.

You know how it goes when you are stressed, busy, and frankly not paying too much attention to staff concerns. I know for me, these are the conversations where I interrupt because I think I already know what someone's going to say. These are the meetings where I dismiss staff concerns because I’m so focused on the deadline. This is the time when my frustration seeps through, even though you think you're being professional. And clearly, these are the times when a staff member tries to get my attention but I’m too busy running between meetings to pause and listen.

And this is not the leader I wanted to be or imagined I’d be.

Micro-moments like these accumulate. They become missed opportunities to build trust, let people know they are seen and heard, and to create a culture where people feel valued so they don’t walk out the door. 

What Sarah taught me about Executive Presence.

I tried to get Sarah to stay but things had gone on too long, and she didn’t believe I would change. Sometimes when people have decided to move on, trying to keep them isn’t a long-term solution. 

After that resignation, I realized that Executive Presence isn't about being busy or important, projecting confidence, or having all the answers.

True Executive Presence is about taking time for conversations. Difficult conversations, vulnerable conversations, and even conversations where there is the potential for disagreement and conflict. By being intentional about creating space for difficult conversations you are able to work through issues before they become crises.

I didn’t realize then that to be the leader I wanted to be, the kind I’d want to work for, I would have to learn emotional self-management, even when the issue coming to the table is annoying, frustrating, and feels like the last thing I need. It's about knowing how to ask clarifying questions instead of making assumptions. It's about understanding that every interaction either builds your leadership capital or spends it.

That's when I developed the framework that became Navigating Challenging Dialogue®. I had to learn the hard way that technical expertise and good intentions aren't enough for the kind of leadership that inspires and motivates your team to dedicate their skills and talents to work.

The leadership skill no one teaches you.

The most successful executives I work with aren't the ones who avoid difficult conversations. They're the ones who've learned to courageously and skillfully navigate them. But this takes skill. Skill that can be taught. And skill that can be learned. 

When I work with leaders, they learn to:

• Stay grounded in facts when emotions run high.

• Show empathy while maintaining accountability.

• Courageously deal with conflicts before they become toxic.

• Build trust through transparent communication.

These aren't soft skills. These are the core competencies that determine whether you keep your best people, build partnerships with colleagues, and create the kind of culture that drives results.

““I am not sure where the firm acquired Beth, but I would rate her skills as A+. Her temperament was exactly what it should have been for me. She is totally knowledgeable in understanding corporate communication systems that work and/or fail. She has a terrific ability to not only analyze what may be roadblocks, but also suggest changes that work for the future. If Hoge gets an opportunity to use Beth again I recommend her use, without any qualifications at all. She is bright, focused, and although not an attorney, understands the stresses in any organization that has high demands on its professionals, including attorneys.” ”

— BWC Coaching Client , Richard Schramm, Of Counsel, Hoge Fenton

Your next leadership level awaits

If you're reading this and thinking about your own "Sarah moment" — that conversation you wish had gone differently, or the person whose resignation surprised you — you're not alone.

The difference between good leaders and great ones isn't that great leaders don't make mistakes. It's that they develop the skills to handle the challenging dialogues that every leadership role demands.

Whether you're navigating team conflicts, board presentations, or performance conversations, the same principles apply. When you can listen deeply, stick to the facts, communicate with both empathy and accountability, everything else becomes possible.

That's the work we do together in Executive Coaching and Advising. Not just talking about leadership theory, but building the real-world skills that transform how you show up in those crucial moments.

Because your team is watching. Your stakeholders are listening. And your next level of leadership is waiting on the other side of your next challenging conversation.

To learn more about Executive Coaching and Advising with me, book your free exploration conversation here: https://bethwonson.com/beth