The Wrong Spot

Picture this: You're pouring everything you've got into something that's just... not working. Your back aches, sweat drips, but you keep going because stopping feels like failure. Sound familiar?

"When you are digging a hole in the wrong spot, digging faster and harder won't fix it." I heard this statement in passing the other day. I can't remember the context nor who said it unfortunately but it hit me so hard.

I know I’ve spent time working harder and harder to dig a perfect hole, even after I've become aware that I'm digging in the entirely wrong spot.

• Relationships I've invested time and energy in even after I've realized that we've outgrown each other.

• Bosses who are difficult but I am certain that if I keep showing up and working hard, I will figure out how to make them happy.

• A hobby I picked up that isn't actually rewarding or fulfilling for me, but I started it so I'm going to suffer through.

• The book that didn't grab me in the first three or four chapters, but I stick with it because "I always finish books I start."

• That idea that I fell in love with but even after I get data that tells me it isn't going to work out the way I want, I keep working it because I’ve sunk too much time and effort in to let it go.

Do any of these sound familiar?

These are just some of the ways that I can think of where I catch myself digging a hole in the wrong spot hoping that effort and speed will make it right. But truly, the only solution is to come to terms with my own disappointment and frustration that I've picked the wrong spot, clean up the mess as best I can, and move on to a better choice.

And you know the best thing about moving on?

I get to reflect on that wrong choice and learn more about what makes a choice right for me.

One place I see this pattern repeat itself in with clients — when they make a new hire or promotion and then start seeing evidence that this person was the wrong person for the position.

I get it. Hiring is costly, time consuming, and, in technical terms, a crap shoot. But the wear and tear of letting someone continue in the wrong job impacts the entire culture.

Or when an organization, company, or team is committed to a strategy, but the economic climate or customer needs or the talent of the team has changed. Yet, they keep pursuing that same initiative instead of pausing, reflecting, having an uncomfortable dialogue, and then deciding how to proceed—or not.

Here's what I want you to do:

• During the next few weeks, I challenge you to take an honest accounting of all the holes you're breaking your back digging.

• Get curious, not critical. Ask yourself: "Am I digging harder because this is the right spot and it just takes work, or am I digging harder because I can't face the possibility that I picked the wrong spot?"

• Then—and this is the hard part—give yourself permission to put down the shovel and look around.

• Sometimes the best thing you can do is admit you're in the wrong place and start fresh somewhere better.

What hole have you been digging that might be in the wrong spot? Let me know—I read every response.

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And if you or someone you know could benefit from coaching to help yourself find new ways to focus your energy and commitment, let’s talk. I have a few spots opening up in October for new or returning coaching clients. Get in touch: https://bethwonson.com/beth