Whenever clients use the word “micromanaging”, they almost spit the word out as if it was venom in their mouth. Micromanaging itself is not a bad thing. In fact, it has very appropriate applications. Micromanaging turns problematic when it is used to comfort the supervisor rather than develop the employee. 

Being a human who is consistent and predictable in your leadership and communication brings comfort for those around you. When you are the one who brings comfort, you also bring great value to any team or group. Healthy predictability shows that people can count on you to be steady, honest, fair, curious, and empathetic. When you are predictable, in a healthy way, people can count on you to set and hold clear boundaries, and hold yourself and others accountable.

​A common story that I hear is when a valued employee resigns because they’ve accepted an offer with another organization – but they didn’t leave because they were unhappy. In fact they love their work. But they don’t see any opportunities for professional growth and development.  When the employee hands in their resignation, the current manager often says, “But we see you as someone with leadership potential! We had plans for you for the future.” The employee is surprised. They had no idea that they were being thought of in this way.

​We all have experienced relationships that are damaged by miscommunication. Some of these relationships are ones that you might be happy to just let go. But sometimes there is a relationship that you miss and wish you could repair. Repairing and rebuilding damaged relationships is a choice. The process of rebuilding a damaged relationship can be a bit uncomfortable but it is often worth the effort. 

Today I am talking about what to do when you’ve given someone feedback and they’ve successfully made a change, but then they regress back to the old, undesirable behaviors after a few months. There are two parts to my approach. The first is what to do when the regression happens. The second, and perhaps more important part, is how to prevent regression from happening in the first place.

Today I am discussing the idea of holding people accountable for “professionalism” at work. I purposefully put the word “professionalism” in quotes because it is a loaded topic. This is part two in a series highlighting the top three topics that came out of that meeting and some solutions and helpful strategies. Part one which was last week focused on how to give feedback in ways that are heard and people can take action. 

Feedback is such a misused and misunderstood tool that I actually wrote a book on the topic, Mastering Feedback - Everything You Were Never Told About How to Give Feedback. Instead of critical and positive feedback, I prefer the terms growth feedback and affirmative feedback. In a healthy work environment, both Growth Feedback and Affirmative Feedback are given often. I refer to this as normalizing feedback. Feedback is no longer a special occasion that is fraught with emotion and tension. Instead it is seen as a tool to help people grow and develop in their strengths, expertise, and contributions at work.

We all walk around with so many stories in our head. These stories surround the facts of any situation like a warm, comfy blanket. The purpose of the stories is to help make facts that are uncomfortable more palatable. The NCD Process can save so much drama, conflict, and bad feelings.

When a culture of feedback exists, team morale will not be shaken by feedback. In fact, individuals and the team as a whole, will expect feedback. They'll view feedback as a tool to improve how they communicate and collaborate to make work more enjoyable, productive, innovative, and meaningful. I have 3 tools to help you get started with feedback.

Sometimes the world needs us to be disruptors. Energy patterns are created by our behaviors and reactions. Sometimes just shifting the direction of negative energy can feel like a relief!  Here’s a quick story about what I mean.

​I feel like I am always using my coaching skills. I use them as a parent. I use them with my grandchildren. I use them in every client engagement. I use them while facilitating strategic conversations, teaching about feedback, and helping people frame effective one-to-one meetings. Why? Because the ability to listen deeply, to learn from the perspective of others, and to witness people as they grow and develop is at the core of all meaningful and sustainable relationships. 

Every once in a while do something that doesn’t quite seem like it fits with your big goals. For no other reason than to fill your heart. Sit at the staff lunch table and bask in the connection and fun of your staff. Find time in your schedule to volunteer at an event in your community. Find ways to spend time with people who are different from you. Sit and allow yourself to be welcomed and embraced. Be an observer. Be curious. Especially when it feels like you have no time to do so. Do it anyway! Your heart will thank you.

People who have what I call a perfectionist personality are people who believe so strongly that there is only one path to getting a task or job done correctly that they are hesitant to delegate or allow others to use their unique strengths and talents to handle it. As a manager or leader, an unrecognized perfectionist personality leads to not growing and developing your team. You may be seen as a micromanager. And because the people around you don’t have the opportunity to use their unique strengths, talents, and expertise, they often move onto opportunities where they can. 

If a person you are managing continually shows up blaming others, shrugging their shoulders, tossing up their hands, or stating that they have no control over their lot in life, you are likely managing what I call a "Helpless Victim". Sometimes these challenges can be totally justified. But if you recognize a pattern where it is always someone or something else’s fault, you may want to try a tool that I successfully use in my coaching: Circles of Control

Teams are so busy focusing on the work that needs to be done and how to reach their outcome, that they don’t consider that conflict is natural when people with different strengths, perspectives, experiences, and work styles come together. When there are no norms for engaging in conflict in healthy ways, it can result in breakdowns in the collaboration, cohesiveness, and forward momentum of a project.

The current state of what work looks like in our society was taking a toll on her mental and emotional health. She doesn’t blame the leaders of the organization, stating that they are as overwhelmed as anyone. In fact, the work pressures make it nearly impossible to identify what is at the crux of the incoming tide of demands and how to resolve it.

​Coaching is my passion. But teaching leaders and managers to use the tools of Navigating Challenging Dialogue and the NCD Approach to Coaching really brings me so much joy!  A past participant in my Coaching in the Workplace workshop emailed me to let me know how a conversation they were dreading turned out. They gave me permission to share with all of you.

When you build a coaching culture where peers, leaders, and supervisors are engaged with curiosity and listen deeply to each other, they begin to find common ground and develop empathy. Cross-departmental teams who previously fought over resources or power now begin to see how they are all connected and working toward the same goals. Mentorship is specifically for individuals who are coaching now or adding coaching into their leadership toolbox. 

In today’s fast-paced work culture, it feels like there are more demands and priorities than can be completed in an average workday. Because of the overwhelm, many of us tend to show up to meetings already braced to “say no” to new assignments that come up.  Saying “no” sometimes is absolutely important and not always possible. But if you are consistently bracing for the “no” before you hear or consider the full request, you are risking your reputation as a team player. And nobody wants that.  So how do you balance protecting yourself and your team from taking on too much while still being seen as a team player?

Unproductive speculation is what we name as “future tripping” in Navigating Challenging Dialogue®. It’s worrying about what might happen in the future while missing what is happening right now – like sleep. When you’re engaged in future tripping, your brain is spinning stories that seem to be an attempt to help you problem-solve something that hasn’t even happened yet. It is a strategy your ego employs to try and protect you. But when your mind conjures up these stories that focus on negative outcomes, it triggers even more anxiety.