It is amazing to me how horrifying the idea of taking time off is to so many people. And I get it because I used to be the exact same way. Vacation-resistant clients are often the most stressed, overwhelmed, and short-tempered of my clients. So I start with baby steps. Together we identify an upcoming weekend and add a Friday and a Monday off. For many over-achievers, the idea of missing two days is enough to put them into their stretch zone.

Have you worked with a person who is to valuable to fire but wreaks havoc and damages relationships by the way the communicate? The one that people are always complaining about? So instead of holding this person accountable for their communication, everyone at the company tries to work around them. People ask to be moved off their team. Perhaps people waste time creating workarounds to avoid direct contact. Or maybe you keep losing good people because they don’t want to work with them at all.

Well, guess what? This person, this problem, is the kind of issue that I often am brought in to solve.

I happened to listen to Dr. Sarah Wakeman (Harvard) on the Mel Robbins podcast. Dr. Wakeman outlines some biological and brain research facts on what happens in the body when alcohol is consumed. And I felt compelled to share. The awareness of what she shares in this podcast is just another piece of information to help you make choices in your own life.

I’ve been writing this weekly email consistently since sometime in 2010. Can you believe it? That is approximately 728 email communications! I would estimate that in that time, I’ve missed maybe 10 issues. I sure have a lot to say.

The reason I write the weekly email is because my mission is to help organizations, leaders, and teams transform their work environments into places people want to be. Places where they feel seen and heard, and where they can use their unique strengths and talents. And to help people understand how they individually and collectively contribute to the good of the whole.

Events such as funding cuts, economic downturn threats, competition, politics, civil unrest, and even pandemics can bring a hurricane-level of chaos to teams and organizations. With a new "hurricane" seemingly forecasted every day, and new worries constantly arising, how can your organization prepare?

Managers and supervisors who are bogged down in chasing, cajoling, bribing, or threatening others to be accountable are the same managers who are soon overwhelmed, exhausted, and dissatisfied with their jobs. Managers who establish accountability as one of the norms for being a valued and successful employee will spend less time micromanaging their staff and more time empowering, developing, and rewarding their staff.

Adults learn best when the content is relevant to them and they are able to actively participate as part of the learning. What worked for my recent client was the interactive nature of an activity we call “coaching fishbowls”. Fishbowls are when two people practice applying what they’ve learned thus far in front of their peers. One person is the coach and another person is being coached. Everyone else is observing. The client reported that not only did the feedback session benefit everyone from a learning perspective, but they have since discussed how to apply the fishbowl feedback process to their communication in general.

It’s easy to forget, especially with experienced new hires, that adjusting to an entirely new work environment is often quite unsettling and challenging. For many, it is more challenging than the actual work itself. No matter how impossible it may seem to spare that time, the initial investment is well worth the result: retaining a solid new employee. 

You can have all the right processes, procedures, and skills in place, but without communication, empathy, and trust, the work is not getting done as effectively or as powerfully as it could be. It doesn’t matter how clear and admirable your strategies are if you're lacking a positive culture. And it doesn’t matter how positive your culture is if you're lacking clear strategies. Creating that alignment can be tricky, so when I facilitate for clients, I rely on my Navigating Challenging Dialogue® Approach to Strategic Dialogue.  

Carlo was a recent hire to a manager position in a company that had just come through a year of difficult leadership change. Carlo had successfully held a management position elsewhere, and this was a step up. But according to his supervisor, Carlo was having some challenges in this new position. What was missing for Carlo was time with his boss to integrate into the work environment, set expectations, and understand the culture of the working relationship.

Is there something you are so passionate about that you have an abundance of great information to share? Do you love sharing and are deeply invested in other people learning as well? That is an amazing and remarkable gift. Your synapses are firing and each statement you make triggers another piece you want to share. It is an amazing feeling. Contrary to what you may feel at the moment, it’s actually time to embrace the pause rather than go faster. Taking a pause may conflict with the energy and excitement you are feeling, but here’s an exercise that will help you to reflect on how a pause creates more engagement, not less.

When you speak in generalities and use terms like “professional conduct,” you aren’t being clear about what you are expecting and why. The lack of clarity makes it nearly impossible for the people who are trying to fulfill your expectations to do so.  And when you do clarify, if you aren’t open to dialogue and feedback about these kinds of subjective expectations, you are likely to be met with backlash and lose an opportunity to learn and expand your own lens on the world.

Recently I was struggling. I was experiencing conflict between myself and someone I care about. I felt stuck and frustrated. The feeling of being stuck began to creep into many other aspects of my life. I wanted to get unstuck but didn’t see how that could happen. I didn't have the insight to do it by myself. I knew I needed some outside guidance to find my way through this emotional place.

During celebrations the stress hormone, cortisol, is reduced which helps you to become more relaxed and cope better with challenges. You can clearly see the benefits to your own sense of happiness when you take a moment to lift up and celebrate others. Celebrations don’t have to be complex or over the top …

The same curiosity that motivated child-you to develop new skills and learn about the world is deeply beneficial in your adult life. But too often in life, expertise is valued over curiosity. In the traditional workplace, often those who get rewarded are those who demonstrate knowledge instead of those who practice curiosity. 

Here’s what we can do when we want to remain connected with someone but their venting is just wearing us down. Especially if the person chronically vents and never takes action to remedy the situation.

When we attempt to remain silent in situations like this, eventually our frustration and fear turns into anger and resentment, and comes out when we least expect, or want, it to. Some event or conversation is going to spark emotions to take over and you will react or respond in a way that you didn’t intend. Communication coaching teaches you new skills, so you can effectively speak up even in charged situations.

For a long time, it was commonly believed that communication style is something a person “has” or “doesn’t have”. Companies weren’t interested in helping people develop these skills.  I am here to tell you that with the right coach and mentor, you can absolutely build on your communication strengths and close your communication gaps.

For the majority of us who work with and on teams, authentic coaching skills are a necessity. More businesses than ever realize how critical coaching is to success. Yet the number of professionals who understand what authentic coaching truly is, remains quite low.

There are going to be times when you are faced with answering an unanswerable question. Maybe it is from one of your children, or a friend, a co-worker, a boss, or a direct report. This Navigating Challenging Dialogue® tool applies to any situation where you are faced with providing answers to a situation or question that you aren’t ready or equipped to answer.