Protecting Your Brain

Don't Hesitate by Mary Oliver

“If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate. Give in to it. There are plenty of lives and whole towns destroyed or about to be. We are not wise, and not very often kind. And much can never be redeemed.

Still, life has some possibility left. Perhaps this is its way of fighting back, that sometimes something happens better than all the riches or power in the world. It could be anything, but very likely you notice it in the instant when love begins.

Anyway, that’s often the case. Anyway, whatever it is, don’t be afraid of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb.”

My good friend Betsey recently experienced a series of small strokes that neither she nor anyone around her noticed happening. It wasn't until she sought care for lingering symptoms that doctors found that the mini strokes were the cause.

Recently, Betsey joined me on a five-day road trip from San Luis Obispo, CA to Aiken, SC. Watching her habits along the way taught me more about how I, even without having any mini strokes, can proactively care for my brain health.

We skipped the news. I usually check in a few times a day on long drives, just to see what's happening. Betsey has become intentional about what she lets into her mind. She wants her brain calm and peaceful, and the constant churn of headlines doesn't serve that goal. So for five days, we just... didn't tune in. It was freeing.

She let herself feel joy, fully. Crossing the Mojave, the sky filled with clouds that seemed to hang there just for us. Betsey put her hand on her heart and said, "These clouds are so beautiful, I am getting choked up." That wasn't a one-time thing: a bite of chocolate cake, ribs so tender the meat fell off the bone, hugging her daughter in Huntsville, a cookie with just the right snap. She felt every bit of it, with her whole body. And exclaimed her joy out loud.

There's real science here: chronic stress floods the brain with cortisol, which shrinks the hippocampus over time and hurts memory. Joy does the opposite, it lowers cortisol and supports clearer thinking. Betsey isn't just a joyful person by accident; she's protecting her brain by choosing to embody joy on purpose.

We rested without guilt. Long stretches of quiet, eyes closed, short naps and neither of us felt awkward asking for it.

When we added noise, we chose it carefully. A little music, and honestly, less of it than we expected to want.

We connected, deeply. Some vulnerable conversations. A few tears. Moments held just as sacred as the joyful ones.

And Betsey talked to everyone. At the Road Kill Cafe in Seligman, AZ, we sat next to two young men visiting from Japan. By the time breakfast was over, we were taking selfies and hugging goodbye. Everywhere we stopped, she asked people about their lives with real curiosity. That kind of engagement is a workout for the brain because it strengthens the prefrontal cortex. And the novelty of new people and new stories sparks dopamine hits and builds new neural pathways.

I'll admit my own brain has felt worn down lately. Words don't come as easily sometimes. I catch myself distracted mid-conversation. I have felt more anxiety lately. But a week of slowing down with Betsey showed me that I do have the agency to determine what I let in, how much I rest, and how fully I let myself feel the good moments.

The thing that struck me most was how clearly Betsey named what she needed. We started the trip with a simple agreement, we were aiming for joy and peace, together. That kind of honesty made everything else easier.

I'm walking away from this trip with real, doable changes: less doom-scrolling, more quiet, more joy, more genuine hellos to strangers. None of it is complicated. It just takes intention.

Your Brain Is Your Biggest Asset

And I contend your brain is the most fundamental cornerstone to your journey in this lifetime. Taking proactive steps, as best you can, to keep your brain healthy, at peace, and flooded with joy is essential. I’d love for you to get in touch and share what resonates with you. 

With love,

Beth